How to Prepare Your Teen for College: The 4 Rs
Dr. Kathryn Graham
Dr. Kathryn Graham is a staff psychologist at the Gordon Therapy Group where she provides tele-health only therapy to adolescents and adults, and in-person neuropsych testing for all ages. She offers Friday and weekend availability for testing, and she is particularly skilled in helping neurodiverse indivduals and folks with OCD.
Dr. Kathryn Graham
Dr. Kathryn Graham is a staff psychologist at the Gordon Therapy Group where she provides tele-health only therapy to adolescents and adults, and in-person neuropsych testing for all ages. She offers Friday and weekend availability for testing, and she is particularly skilled in helping neurodiverse indivduals and folks with OCD.
As a Gordon Therapy Group psychologist and former college counseling center therapist, I often see college students struggle to develop their independence while balancing their academics. For many students, it can be challenging to manage every aspect of their life all at once.
College students are not just responsible for studying and completing homework, but also have to consider how to feed themselves, when to sleep, when to spend time with friends, when to grocery shop, and when to do their laundry.
I therefore like to focus on building up four essential skills before sending anyone off to college. These four skills boil down to establishing routines, setting reminders, accessing resources, and giving yourself some rewards.
Build Consistent Routines Before Your First Semester
First, let’s consider routines. Unlike in high school, college students don’t have the same structure every day.
Classes may meet only once or twice a week, and extracurriculars and part-time jobs can happen at all different times. It’s therefore essential to set up a weekly routine for key areas of your life.
Within the first week of school, review your syllabi and your class schedule and try to identify how much work you are going to have for each class. Next, identify time every day that you can study or complete homework.
This does not have to be for a lengthy period of time. Focus on a one to three hour block of time per day that you can dedicate to academics outside of class time.
Leading up to your first semester of college, work on establishing healthy lifestyle routines, including sleep, eating, exercise, and self-care. This way, even if your classes are at different times every day, you will be used to eating and sleeping on a healthy schedule.
Your self-care routine may be unique to you, but can include things like when to clean your room, wash your hair, do your laundry, grocery shop, and so on. Practice these over the summer to make sure you feel comfortable doing them before heading off to college.
Use Reminders to Stay on Top of Assignments and Exams
The second essential skill to have before going off to college is how to set reminders. During a college semester you may juggle anywhere from four to six different classes, each with their own schedule for assignments and exams.
It is often hard to keep track of all of these assignments, and therefore crucial to have reminders in place to check your class web pages, class notes, college email, and/or syllabi.
I recommend using both digital and physical reminders such as phone alarms, calendars, white boards, and planners. Practice these skills over the summer before you go off to college, and make sure you have all these materials packed in your bag before you go.
Know Which Campus Resources Are Available to You
The third essential skill is knowing what resources you may need to access. College campuses often offer tutoring, counseling, health care providers, and residential life services, to name a few.
Additional resources can also include having access to teaching assistants, professor office hours, and the ability to contact your professors between classes. It is helpful to know in advance what your available resources are, such as how to access counseling support if needed, and how many sessions you would be provided.
Preparing in advance means you don’t have to search for this information when you are already in a stressful situation. If stress or school-related concerns are already present, exploring teen therapy before the semester begins can give you a meaningful head start.
It’s also important not to forget about your resources at home, and to maintain communication with parents, family, and/or friends. Establish before you leave for college how often you would like to be in communication with your loved ones.
Having a set routine or expectation in place can help reduce homesickness and increase your sense of social support.
Schedule Rewards to Manage College Stress and Stay Motivated
Finally, starting college can be a stressful time, which makes it important to plan opportunities to relax and reward yourself for your efforts. Try to set aside time each week to socialize with friends or do something fun.
I usually recommend setting up slightly bigger rewards, such as attending a fun event two weeks before midterms and finals as well as immediately following these weeks, to provide a sense of relief before and after these stressful periods. It can also help to set up small weekly rewards when you stay on track with academic work or anything else that is stressful in your daily life, such as cleaning your room.
These rewards do not have to be monetary or material, but can include spending extra time with your friends, going on a nice hike, or getting a sweet treat from the dining hall. This skill is going to work differently for everyone.
If you are someone that struggles to take breaks, it is helpful to set this up as a routine. However, if you’re someone that struggles to wait for a reward, this skill may best be applied in moderation — and instead you may want to focus on rewards following periods of stress only.
The summer before your first semester of college is an important period of time for preparation and skill building. Enjoy your summer while also remembering to practice setting up routines and learning about your future college.
Congratulations to all the graduates!
