New school year? How to stay calm and carry on.

October 5, 2018 by Dr. Gordon

It’s a cliché to say that the beginning of school is a tough adjustment.  As one teacher put it, “now that the holidays are over and we have a full week of school your kids may look a little frayed around the edges.  Don’t worry, that’s normal.”  I know this.  I know it as a parent, and I know it as a psychologist.

But that doesn’t stop me from worrying!  It’s hard to sleep when your children are unhappy.

So what do you do when your kids come home saying school is too hard, too much homework, too much everything?!

  1. Don’t get mad – get supportive. If your son or daughter comes home and says it was “the worst day ever” ask them to tell you what went badly.  For example, if the answer is: “it was the worst day ever! Jimmy called me stupid!”  Try something like “that sounds really tough.  What did you do to handle it? And then what happened after that?”  Often, once you’ve validated the bad feelings, your child can move on to remembering the good things that happened too.

2. Remind yourself that last year was hard. Like all difficult moments, this one will pass too.  Your kids may be struggling now, but they’ll get the hang of it and your worry (at least about this topic!)  will fade too.

3. Fake it till you make it. This is good advice for the kids as well. Each day will be better than the last, school gets easier once you get used to it, and negative emotions don’t last forever.

Hang in there mom and dad! You’ll have something new to worry about before you know it 😊.