After endless beach days, running around in the sun, and family time, the beginning of the new school year elicits anxiety, excitement, and disappointment for children, teens, and parents. The new school year is filled with unknowns: Will my teachers be nice? Am I going to have any friends in my new class? Will I be able to handle the academics? These worries can be amplified if your child is starting at a new school. Here are some helpful tips on how to best support your anxious child during the transition.
- Validate your child’s concerns:
As a parent, it can be very upsetting to hear your child struggle with anxieties about the upcoming school year. No parent wants their child to worry! When your child starts with “what if” questions – what if I don’t make friends? What if I have no one to sit with on the bus? What if I feel sick during the school day? – it is natural to want to provide them with reassurance, telling them it will all work out. However,when parents provide reassurance or tell their child that the worry is unrealistic, they are unintentionally reinforcing anxiety in the long-term. Children learn that they need to seek reassurance anytime they have a big worry. Instead, communicate both validation of their very normal fears, along with confidence in your child’s abilities. For example, you can state that you understand how nervous they are about not making friends, and you are confident that they will be okay.
- Routine, routine, routine!
Hopefully you and your child have both enjoyed the extra family time, fun activities, and vacations throughout the summer. However, one of the challenges of summer is lack of structure. Your child may be staying up late at night, having unlimited screen time, and be eating at random times throughout the day. Before school officially starts, it is helpful to begin the school year routine. Start getting them to bed and waking up at school-year times. Thus will help ease moodiness and fatigue prior to the first day of school. Review and practice the morning routine (wake-up time, breakfast time, departure time) so your child knows what is expected. If your child had extra screen time during the summer, explain the screen time expectations for the school year and start the transition early.
- Model Good Coping Skills.
You may be anxious about how your child will fit in with peers and whether they will excel academically. Remember to be patient and allow for an adjustment period. It may take your child a few weeks, or even months, to get into the school rhythm. Your own frustration may kick in if your child refuses to start their homework, cries when saying goodbye, or tantrums about going to school. Model healthy coping by remaining calm. You are a mirror for your child! If you are able to take some breathes, use a calm voice, or take a break from a tense moment, your child will have an example of how they too should approach big feelings.
- Practice Makes Perfect
! If your child is worried about transitioning to a new school year and entering the unknown,you can help them be brave and approach the feared situations by practicing in advance Practice the commute to school, have play-dates with classmates, and connect with your child’s teacher and/or any support staff. You can even tour the school to help your child find their classes. These practices will increase confidence in starting the school year. As kids approach feared situations, they learn that they can be brave and tolerate their worries.